Elderly Irish face solitude in the UK at Christmas

"Last Christmas, it was just me and my thoughts. I got so lonely that I’d have done anything for a bit of company. That’s why I rang 999 and ended up in A and E. I complained of chest pains, though the pain was more here [touches his heart]. It just felt better to see someone, anyone, than to be alone in that flat."
(Sean, Older Irish Person, South London)

As Christmas approaches, it is often all too easy to get caught up in the rush around us to get everything we need, or are supposed to need, before Christmas Day arrives. Yet for those older people like Sean who live alone and can’t get out much, or have few if any family and friends for support, this build up to Christmas can be very hard indeed. They stoically face the prospect of being by themselves over the Christmas period with only memories of better Christmases past for company.

The Irish Chaplaincy’s Older Person’s Project supports and cares for these older Irish people who may not only find themselves alone at Christmas, but throughout the rest of the year too. We care for the most vulnerable and isolated older Irish people in London, by providing a culturally sensitive visiting service that reaches out to them in their homes, as well as in care homes and in hospitals, offering emotional, spiritual and practical support, irrespective of their beliefs or attitude to the Church. Our small staff team of four and our network of volunteer befrienders respond to referrals from statutory agencies and local parishes, as well as from individuals themselves who request the support of the project.

Last week I visited Eileen, who lives alone in North London. Eileen has poor health and separated from her husband many years ago, she does not get out much and will have few Christmas cards and presents this year. She will be alone this Christmas Day, as she is for most of the year. I am one of the only visitors Eileen will see this December, and as she told me as I was leaving, ‘It’s great to get a visit in the afternoon, it breaks the silence of here’. I left her a chaplaincy Christmas card and a Christmas cake, baked by one of our volunteers. A small reminder that we have not forgotten her this Christmas time.

Our mission is always to ‘journey in hope’ with our older people, assuring them that they are valued and important and that their lives still have worth and meaning. We travel alongside them, whatever their circumstances, nurturing and encouraging them as we go, and listening to and valuing their life stories.

On occasions people ask us to pray with them, or share with us their beliefs as well as doubts about their faith and their relationship with God. This is always a privilege and a humbling experience as people explain something of their journey of faith. We try to work closely with local parishes and religious orders in providing spiritual and sacramental support to older Irish people and have found this to be an important way to reconnect people with parish and community life. As Tommy told me, ‘most of the Irish friends I made when I worked in London have moved on or are dead now. My last link with them was the few Irish men I saw at Mass. But since the old legs don’t work so well now, I don’t even see those now. I don’t feel part of Irish community anymore.’

As well as visiting older people and building up relationships with them, our work often includes rebuilding contact between an older person and their relatives and friends back in Ireland, sometimes after decades of separation. Sean, who we heard from earlier, was reconnected with his family back in Co. Fermanagh after a 25-year gap in communication. We helped resettle him back in a care home in his native town this summer and with family close by he’ll have no need of emergency services for company this Christmas time.

Paul Raymond is the Older Person’s Project Manager for the Irish Chaplaincy in the UK.


For more information about the Irish Chaplaincy and about an idea for a gift that will also support the Irish Chaplaincy’s work with vulnerable people,see: www.irishchaplaincy.org.uk