Twittering away our lives

Computers and related communications technologies can do some marvelous things. Last summer my family and I ventured to a camp in the northwest hills of New Jersey to be with a group of campers while their parents and speech therapists went to a nearby restaurant for dinner on a warm and stormy evening. We provided four extra pairs of hands for the camp counselors. The campers were all multiply handicapped and none was able to speak. They relied upon augmentative communication devices to communicate with one another and us. Shortly after our arrival we helped the campers get from the mess hall to the crafts building where we they were going to tie dye tee-shirts. My wife Carline wheeled a young boy named Brian in a wheelchair while my daughter Adriana kept all three dry with an umbrella as the rain began to fall with more intensity. We all had a hearty laugh when Brian typed onto his computer screen “in in in” – he couldn’t get in from the rain fast enough! Once inside, with a big smile, Brian approvingly wrote, “fast!” Computer technology at its best!

Blogger and newspaper columnist Rod Dreher, the “Crunchy Con,” recently wrote that he had deactivated his Facebook account. Though he had a couple of hundred virtual friends on Facebook, he found himself spending less time with family and real friends and nurturing his relationships with those he loves. Dreher’s decision to walk away from Facebook goes against the grain when the norm is to add Twitter to one’s arsenal of communication technologies. We can become so self-absorbed with anything that provides us with the ability to communicate instantly with anyone we choose or that provides us with virtually unlimited choices in entertainment. It is so easy to become expert “surfers” seeking out images and words that pique our interest at this very moment. We have access to the news 24/7; indeed access to virtually everything the communications/entertainment media offer 24/7.

One person recently told me if the news is five minutes old, it is obsolete. To my mind, if it is obsolete at five minutes old, it is probably not worth having known in the first place. The modern technologies seem to be set up in a way as to conspire against spending more than a couple of minutes on any one article or item. Online web pages and articles are often laced with links allowing us to leave the site we’re reading and get more information on another site. Before we know it, we can find ourselves several sites away from the original webpage or article we set out to read. Twitter and IM can take us even further afield. In the end we find ourselves (and our attention) no different from a child set loose at Toys-R-Us. Our choices seem virtually, literally and figuratively, endless; and, in the end, we find that the time spent on the computer, watching TV, and on the phone is virtually endless. When this happens, nothing or nobody commands our attention or love. Our minds become full of chaos, distractions, clutter and mostly useless information.

Not too many years ago, a bored student in the classroom might pass along a note to a classmate, sneak a peek at a magazine, or simply tune out. Today a student might come to class with an iPod, a cell phone, or even a laptop. Rather than tuning in to what’s going on in class the student might be on the internet, “talking” to others by IM, texting, listening to music, or any combination of the above. The fact is that much more is competing for our attention than twenty-five years ago. We can tune out anywhere. Last year my daughter came home from a babysitting job telling us with surprise that there was a television in each child’s bedroom as well as in the kitchen and family room. It doesn’t have to be a television in nearly every room of the home. All it takes is one television, one iPod, one cell phone and one PC and a family of four can be in the same room but in four virtually different worlds, reminiscent of the parallel play of young children. Rare are the evenings when the family gathers in front of the television to watch a favorite show or video. And even rarer the evenings when the family gathers ‘round to pray or read a book.

Surely the internet and other new communication technologies have their role. However, before the end of the day we need to look closely at how our uses of these technologies impact our relationships with one another and God. In his weekly audience Pope Benedict has been speaking of late on monasticism; very recently he spoke of the importance of “knowing how to make silence within, to hear the voice of God.” In the Byzantine Divine Liturgy we are implored to “set aside all earthly cares” in anticipation of the Eucharistic prayer; but surely that is not the only time we need to set aside all earthly cares. The imprudent use of the internet and other communication and entertainment technologies deprive us of the silence necessary to hear the voice of God.

In a similar way this imprudent use deprives us of the necessary silence to hear one another. We become more self-absorbed and cutoff from God and those closest to us. The problem cannot be wished away, as more technologies are developed the ease of bringing distractions directly to us increases; and the temptation, as always, will be to latch onto the latest technology. Once obtained, the temptation will be to use it to satisfy every curiosity and reach out to our large network of “friends” often sharing trivial information, attempting to satisfy what at times may seem to be delusions of grandeur.

The challenge for the adult as much as for the child is to be able to discern whether to use the technology available to us, how to use it, and when we do use it, when to say “enough.” Those of us old enough to remember life before computers, cell phones, and even cable television are very fortunate. We can recall quieter times when distractions and temptations were fewer. In the second part of this series we will examine ways in which we might reclaim and protect our time – indeed our lifetime – for ourselves, our marriages and families, and our God.

Thomas P. Shubeck PhD is practicing psychologist who blogs at Byzantine Catholic Family Matters.